Supplements and tears.


After a difficult 13 days of nursing I could no longer deal with my child screaming after nursing non stop.  After process of elimination I figured she was still hungry.  At 4am we went to CVS and purchased some formula. That totally did the trick.  She drank the formula and went right to sleep.  There is nothing like watching your child down a bottle to put nipple pain in perspective.  I convinced myself that no matter how bad it hurt I would overcome and go back to nursing.  I cried watching her gulp that formula.  It was so painful to watch.

The next day I tried nursing again.  I would only give her formula after she nursed and if she still cried.  I also decided to go to see the lactation consultant at the hospital.  I didn’t feel like our visit was to fruitful as she just gave me more nipple shields and some sort of weird looking supplemental thing with a tube on it.  I knew I needed help with the latch and I wasn’t getting it.  It was also a holiday so I knew I wouldn’t get help for at least 3 more days.  I just had to do the best I could to keep my baby fed and keep my milk supply coming.  I ordered a breast pump in hopes that it would help with milk production.

the formula goes in the bottle and the tube goes in your babies mouth along with your breast.
the formula goes in the bottle and the tube goes in your babies mouth along with your breast.

I kept going and each day I felt the nipple pain get less and less.  I don’t know if I mentally blocked it out or if she was less hungry so she wasn’t demolishing my nipple.  I felt like we were getting better each day.  Still no where near good enough to get off of the formula but good enough to only have to supplement at night.  I felt guilty because I actually slept better and was in a better mood now that she wasn’t hungry.  I felt myself teetering on giving up.  I reached back to my track and field/volleyball/cheerleading days and remember that I AM A CHAMPION!  Que Queen music, I will not give up. I think.

The journey continues.  I’m hopeful!


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